"That Rug Really Tied the Room Together"

From reading many posts on tumblr it would appear that girls have a much harder time shopping for clothes than guys.

Of course I only go pants shopping every 3 years and my only requirements are that the trousers are comfortable and have more than enough pockets to put all my stuff in them. So I am in and out of the store in less than 15 min.

The rest of you seem to have a much harder time.

My college is fairly conservative. I like it.

My favorite quotes class:

"As far as I’m concerned, Jane Fonda and Walter Cronkite have spots reserved for them in the deepest depths of hell."

"It is Un-American to not know about explosive ammunition."

"You ever been water boarded before? I have. It is not that bad. It was part of our training for Vietnam"

"When doing research from Russian sources for your papers, the thing you have to ask yourselves is do you trust those commie bastards?"

"You don’t have to share your snacks with the class, we still believe in private property here."

"Back during the days of FDR, when Democrats actually had balls……."

"I have good reasons not to like the French."

"Boy did I love that grease gun, you could mow down everything in the jungle with it."

"If I knew that Dai Wei(Captain) Lei was a Vietcong agent when he was still alive I wouldn’t have shot him. I would have sent him up to province where they probably would have shot him. But I wouldn’t have shot him."

"Most government bureaucrats wouldn’t know the difference between their asshole and a whole in the ground."

"The North Vietnamese had a certain smell about them. They ate different things you see. And they could smell us. That’s why I stopped drinking milk. So they wouldn’t know I was coming."

These are just some the things I hear in class on a daily basis.

I don’t think my grandfather ever owned a pair of jeans.

I am so excited. The words of our great founders will watch over me while I sleep.

You can feel the liberty when you walk into my room.

Playground politics:

I remember one time this girl in my third grade class was being terribly mean to me because I was a little chubby.

I happened to know that her favorite thing on the playground was all the lady bugs.

So I organized some friends and we killed them all.

It was about sending a message. *godfather music starts playing*

Yup. These are mine.

Yup. These are mine.

If you’re not playing Pokemon during lectures you’re not doing it right.


I got 4 As and 1 B this semester.

Not bad for someone who procrastinated the entire semester.

My mom is going to be so proud.


Made a 96% on a 15pg research paper that I wrote for one of my classes a couple of weeks ago.

In text citations and the proper form of MLA.

I literally wrote the thing 3 hours before it was due.

Take that everyone that has to spend more time writing papers.

When I was younger and in the Church they told us you could never stop being Catholic. Once you were in you were in. 

"You can be a good Catholic or a bad Catholic," as they always used to say.

I must say that I am a pretty bad Catholic.

I am bulletproof:

I finished my paper.

I finished just at 21 pages in Chicago Manuel Style.

I also took a two hour nap while I was writing it.

I am untouchable when it comes to my major. 

That was probably one of the better meatloafs I have made.

I would have taken a picture but I ate half of it as soon as it was out of the slow roaster.

We had a veteran come to talk to us in class.

One of the most powerful stories I heard.

He fought the Japanese in the pacific theater.

During the lecture he explained he held a great hatred towards the Japanese for what he had experienced. He held this hatred for decades after the war ended until he met someone who was Japanese and became his friend. He told us,

"When I looked at him the first thing I saw was that he was a God damned Jap! But when I looked into his eyes I saw a human being, a child of God. So I asked God to forgive me for my hatred of the Japanese people. I pray and hope everyday he will." 

At the end of his lecture he looked at all of us and said,

I want to thank you all for having me here. And I want to add that I hope you all never have to see a gun pointed at you with a bullet that has your name on it.”

It was an amazing lecture. I learned a lot.

Things I hear in speech class:

"Well you know I’m a socialist because I believe in equality."

"Well I haven’t read any Karl Marx or other socialist leaders but I do like Thomas Jefferson."

I’m serious you can’t make this shit up.

You should have seen the speech on religion in America.

Long Curly Hair Problems:

Every girl I know is trying to either straighten or braid my hair.